What online predators actually do — in plain English.
Understanding the pattern is the single biggest thing that helps a parent, teacher or child spot it early. This page names the behaviour, not the child.
Scanning public profiles for lonely, argumentative, or 'need approval' signals. Kids who post 'nobody gets me' or fight with parents in comments get messaged first.
A likeable persona: same age, same fandom, same music. Fast agreement with everything the child says. 'You're so mature for your age.' 'Your parents don't understand you like I do.'
Move to a private app (Snap, Discord DM, Telegram, gaming voice chat). 'Delete our messages so no-one sees.' Small secrets first — a rude word, a skipped homework — never the abuse.
Boundary tests: rude jokes, then a shirtless photo of 'themselves' (usually stolen), then asking for one back. Praise for every step. Guilt for hesitation.
Once one image exists it becomes leverage: 'send more or I'll post this to your school.' This is a crime committed against the child — not something the child did wrong.
Phrases that should stop you in your tracks
If your child (or their friend) repeats any of these from someone online, treat it as a warning sign — even from another child. Not because the words are illegal, but because they belong to a known pattern.
Act today if…
Legit friends don't care what app you use. Offenders need the platform's moderators gone.
There is no innocent version of this conversation.
Especially at night. Especially with headphones on.
Sextortion demands almost always start under £50 and escalate.
In UK law, an adult who exchanges sexual messages or images with anyone under 18 is committing an offence — regardless of what the child sent, said, or agreed to. If your child is being blackmailed with an image, use IWF's Report Remove service. It is free and works globally.